Flibbertigibbet: Living Without a Brain

It is not that I am without a brain. The physical brain is still inside my head. But when my hubby died something inside of me broke, snapped in two. I am usually a very capable, goal oriented person. No longer. I can’t focus. I make a plan and then move in a different direction entirely. Writing is hard. Forming a sentence is a challenge, let alone writing a whole book. I forget the way to familiar places when I am driving. In short, I have become a flaky space cadet. I actually prefer the word Flibbertigibbet. It’s a little more fancy, don’t you think. Grief causes a personality change. I’m not who I used to be and I can’t go back to doing what I used to do in any part of my life. When I explained to my grief counselor about the loss of cognitive ability. She said, “Oh there’s a word for that. It’s called grief delirium.” Good to know it’s so common it has a name. For now, I get to be a Flibbertigibbet. No matter how hard I try, sorrow won’t let me get back on track. So I just got to accept it and walk through it. I’m pretty sure I’ll never go back to being the person I was before. I do hope there is enough mending in my mind for me to feel like an intelligent person again. We’ll have to see. Only God knows and he meant for this journey to be long one.

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6 Responses to Flibbertigibbet: Living Without a Brain

  1. Donna M says:

    I lost my Dad after six years of being his caregiver during a difficult illness, and I am still going through exactly what you have described. I fight it when I can and cry when I need to, and get through the days somehow. Please keep writing, your books have been a real joy and inspiration to me!

  2. Virginia says:

    This happened to me after my father died. I would go to the grocery store and walk around and forget why I was there or what I meant to buy.
    Hard to believe, but the morning comes when your terrible grief isn’t the first thing you think about when you wake up. Times passes so quickly. Before you know it you will see your beloved hubby again and he’ll be telling you what a good job you’ve done and that he’s proud of you :)
    I came to your website because I read one of your books and enjoyed it. Hope you find your way through the fog to write many, many more :)
    Kindest regards and I’m so sorry for your loss.

  3. Madeleine Hewitt says:

    I felt so sad reading your website about the loss of your husband. He looks like he was a wonderful happy man. I read your book Death of a Garage Sale Newbie and enjoyed your portrayal of strong, clever,funny women of all ages, which is why I checked your website. I hope your children and your faith you show in your book are helping you through this grief. You are a talented author who makes a reader smile, not an easy thing to do in these times.

  4. Liane Canova says:

    Sharon, I am so very sorry for everything you have been and are going through. I have no idea how I would be in a similar situation. I’m putting you on my prayer list.
    You look great by the way.
    Liane

  5. Birgit Lehmann says:

    Hello Sharon! I hope and pray that you will find your way through this Valley and that you will relize that Jesus never left your side.
    I am very sorry for your loss and even though it will take a long time God will lead you through.
    Your sister in the Lord
    Birgit

  6. Carolyn Raham says:

    I’m so sorry you have lost your husband! Wow, I guess no one knows until they experience this type of loss. Best wishes on continuing your life with the Lord!
    I wanted to make a comment about your exciting book Cold Case Justice.

    Mercy me! All that running and trauma! Great ending, however.

    My humble thoughts, practically speaking here, would not have enhanced the story, but I did think that if these two characters had concealed carry permits, things might have been easier. Self defense is biblical when someone is trying to kill you. However, that would have ruined the story…and we don’t want to do that! Best wishes, Carolyn Raham

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