It is not that I am without a brain. The physical brain is still inside my head. But when my hubby died something inside of me broke, snapped in two. I am usually a very capable, goal oriented person. No longer. I can’t focus. I make a plan and then move in a different direction entirely. Writing is hard. Forming a sentence is a challenge, let alone writing a whole book. I forget the way to familiar places when I am driving. In short, I have become a flaky space cadet. I actually prefer the word Flibbertigibbet. It’s a little more fancy, don’t you think. Grief causes a personality change. I’m not who I used to be and I can’t go back to doing what I used to do in any part of my life. When I explained to my grief counselor about the loss of cognitive ability. She said, “Oh there’s a word for that. It’s called grief delirium.” Good to know it’s so common it has a name. For now, I get to be a Flibbertigibbet. No matter how hard I try, sorrow won’t let me get back on track. So I just got to accept it and walk through it. I’m pretty sure I’ll never go back to being the person I was before. I do hope there is enough mending in my mind for me to feel like an intelligent person again. We’ll have to see. Only God knows and he meant for this journey to be long one.